but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
