apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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