i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
