I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
