Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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