highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
