I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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