cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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