wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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