I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
