Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Randomize
