Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
