hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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