problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
