Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
