She said her name was "party"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
