So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
