your thong is hanging out like whoa
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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