i was rollin on her like bob the builder
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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