I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
