Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
