got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
