i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
