Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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