he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
