You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
