oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
