gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
