he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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