While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
