So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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