She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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