Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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