it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
