ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
