Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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