another moral hangover. fuck.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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