I hate all girls vehemently.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
