I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
