Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
