I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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