I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
