me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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