I'm lost and stupid without you.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
