Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
