garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
