Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
