Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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