i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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