I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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