unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
