Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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